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Best 1Liners Ever

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1 Dad to little Jimmy: 'There is only one thing more important than catchin balls, and that's protecting them'(Rating : 36 Value : $910)
(Laughs : 38 Frowns : -2)
2 'Welcome to emergency flood hotline. If you are currently drowning as a result of flooding, press 1.....'(Rating : 35 Value : $390)
(Laughs : 35 Frowns : 0)
3 F*&% you Santa!!!!!(Rating : 33 Value : $1090)
(Laughs : 34 Frowns : -1)
4 The strange thing is, he went 12 laps like this before he had to stop for a KFC bucket(Rating : 31 Value : $1510)
(Laughs : 31 Frowns : 0)
5 Gillette is no longer the best a man can get(Rating : 31 Value : $1710)
(Laughs : 31 Frowns : 0)
6 MMM he smells so good, I am gonna eat him then I am gonna eat that little b i tch that keeps looking at my fat belly(Rating : 30 Value : $350)
(Laughs : 30 Frowns : 0)
7 i know the feeling mate,toilets that way(Rating : 29 Value : $1330)
(Laughs : 29 Frowns : 0)
8 obviously this is where obelix died(Rating : 29 Value : $1090)
(Laughs : 29 Frowns : 0)
9 my dentist will love this one(Rating : 28 Value : $340)
(Laughs : 29 Frowns : -1)
10 At the age of 50 Valentino Rossi showed the crowd he still got the hang of it, even though the McDonalds sponsorhip showed the opposite!!(Rating : 26 Value : $410)
(Laughs : 26 Frowns : 0)
11 Honestly. Who can blame the poor guy. I was looking at the pic for 20 minutes before i even noticed he was in it!(Rating : 26 Value : $1400)
(Laughs : 26 Frowns : 0)
12 Not until we get tested...(Rating : 26 Value : $740)
(Laughs : 27 Frowns : -1)
13 WARNING: Smoking while pregnant can cause IRREVERSIBLE damage to your child...(Rating : 25 Value : $440)
(Laughs : 25 Frowns : 0)
14 From an early age it seemed very clear what little Hugh Hefner's ambitions were...(Rating : 25 Value : $370)
(Laughs : 25 Frowns : 0)
15 Bambi's mother was never shot, but telling Bambi that she was road kill was just too much...(Rating : 25 Value : $590)
(Laughs : 25 Frowns : 0)
16 excuse me! plz wont u be a deer and see if its safe to cross the road?(Rating : 25 Value : $510)
(Laughs : 28 Frowns : -3)
17 Beauty and the O-BESE(Rating : 25 Value : $890)
(Laughs : 25 Frowns : 0)
18 Pu ovah! Pu ovah!(Rating : 25 Value : $1160)
(Laughs : 25 Frowns : 0)
19 '**** it!I got to get this thing on my face seen to!!'(Rating : 24 Value : $580)
(Laughs : 24 Frowns : 0)
20 I've got money Geppetto, I wanna be a real boy.(Rating : 24 Value : $270)
(Laughs : 24 Frowns : 0)
21 timmy's new stepfather had a sick sense of humor!(Rating : 24 Value : $270)
(Laughs : 24 Frowns : 0)
22 It's been 4 years! Let me see it again.(Rating : 24 Value : $360)
(Laughs : 25 Frowns : -1)
23 If you look closely she is actually just EXTREMELY aware of her surroundings. She is keeping one eye on the time and the other on the level of her booze(Rating : 24 Value : $1550)
(Laughs : 24 Frowns : 0)
24 Despite the killer heartburn that grandma was giving the wolf, Little Red's fate looked sealed.(Rating : 24 Value : $530)
(Laughs : 24 Frowns : 0)
25 the first real south african multi-purpose phone,forget the mp3 player,now you can talk on the phone and defend yourself at the robot(Rating : 24 Value : $1050)
(Laughs : 24 Frowns : 0)
26 Gina was a little nervous on her first big date.(Rating : 24 Value : $1410)
(Laughs : 24 Frowns : 0)
27 'keep your eye on the ball, son'(Rating : 23 Value : $1220)
(Laughs : 25 Frowns : -2)
28 Wan hung Lo thought he was unlucky until he heard about the night shift(Rating : 23 Value : $250)
(Laughs : 23 Frowns : 0)
29 Chuck Norris was the only first grader in his class that had a 18 year old girlfriend!(Rating : 23 Value : $310)
(Laughs : 23 Frowns : 0)
30 Johnny thought if he ate his teammates he would have the ultimate synchronised diving team(Rating : 23 Value : $1030)
(Laughs : 23 Frowns : 0)